Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
