It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
