What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
