i just sent this text using only my big toe
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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