He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
