I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
