Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize