Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
