My room smells like vodka and shame
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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