I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
