You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Bring me that man meat
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
