don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
