READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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