Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
