Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
