i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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