I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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