He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
