Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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