So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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