Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
