Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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