Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize