We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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