Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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