Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize