yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
