dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
