Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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