you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
