hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize