well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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