im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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