U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
