aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
