So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
