My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize