You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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