im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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