Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
