Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
