so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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