awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
