Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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