Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
