My friends, they love my intelligence
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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