I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just found a bag of teeth...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize