cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
