actually, I'm a sock model
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
