You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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