The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
