You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize