So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
