My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
