I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize