guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
