i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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