My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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