Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
