I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
