Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
