i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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