Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My vagina is officially offended.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
