he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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