just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
