just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
