i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize