Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
