the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
