Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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